The first big problem with the Silver Bowl rewrite is one of tone. The original opening had a number of flaws to do with pacing and tension, but what it got right was the tone of the novel. None of the alternatives openings have managed to keep the same tone, and it seems like it's a hard one to duplicate.
Part of the problem is that there are plenty of "background" events going on that look like they're the main story. If I need to keep the tone of the "real" thread, I'm pretty much forced to deliberately downplay those events, which, if I get it wrong, can look more like incompetence than anything else.
The second problem is that there's probably too much happening at the start in too short a time. There are potentially three different openings, to three different stories, all happening to the same character. Focusing on a single story would make things easier, but nothing seems to want to come out.
I'm going to have to think about this carefully. I'm still hopeful that there's a way I can make everything work, if only I could spot it.
Part of the problem is that there are plenty of "background" events going on that look like they're the main story. If I need to keep the tone of the "real" thread, I'm pretty much forced to deliberately downplay those events, which, if I get it wrong, can look more like incompetence than anything else.
The second problem is that there's probably too much happening at the start in too short a time. There are potentially three different openings, to three different stories, all happening to the same character. Focusing on a single story would make things easier, but nothing seems to want to come out.
I'm going to have to think about this carefully. I'm still hopeful that there's a way I can make everything work, if only I could spot it.